Two year anniversary

It's been two years to the day that my youngest brother Andrew passed away. He was 19 years old. I still remember where I was when I got the phone call. I remember going to my parents backyard and crying in the rain as I felt a piece of my heart rip right out of my chest. I had just talked to him on the phone that morning. He had asked me if he could crock pot a certain chicken recipe, because he wanted to have lunch ready when he and my grandpa got back from church in Heber. I remember telling him I loved him like I always do, but now I am so grateful that I did on that day at that time. I remember dressing him in the casket, and feeling his hair that I had just cut for him about a week before. Let's just say I'm not great with the clippers, which is exactly why Dan doesn't let me cut his hair, but Andrew never cared. I remember speaking at his funeral, huge pregnant, and somehow being able to make it through. I remember feeling happy, knowing that for once he would be free of all the sickness, all the hurt, all the hospital visits, and needles, but at the same time wanting him there. I will always miss calling him and asking him to come shopping with me, because I wanted some company. I will miss him coming over and watching Hollyn while I went for a jog. I will miss seeing he and Hollyn play tickle monster, swim together, and watch them smile and laugh together. I will miss having him at the hospital when I have my other children and seeing the huge smile on his face as he talks to them and holds them. I am comforted by the knowledge that we will see him again. That my kids will know him and know what an amazing person he was and is. Ever since Andrew passed every time Hollyn gets a balloon she lets it go and says its for Andrew. He must a ton of balloons by now. So on the anniversary of Andrew's death we go to the cemetery and let go of balloons as we recall memories of Andrew. Afterwards we go to his favorite restaurant C-Fu and have his favorite dish C-Fu shrimp. It's a great way to remember him and honor him and spend time as a family.